Coffee is the drug of wage slaves

Coffee is fuel for mechanised workers and it is perhaps the most widely available drug available.

Coffee is the first thing a wage slave does before leaving his house or arriving at work. It's their reward for doing a little work in the morning. Pretty much all employers encourage it by offering it for free or if they work for a progressive employer they might even get pods or "coffee for kids"; soft-drink or energy drinks. No other drink is so celebrated in the office. If you want to feel like an outsider, try telling your colleagues you want to break your dependence and give yourself a little more freedom.

So dependant on their coffee is the modern office worker they are willing to put up abuse from their local hip barista. Wait in line to order their favorite brew, hand over four bucks, wait again for their highly unique and personalised order to be called. This demeaning process a good preparation for the daily humiliation of office life. A workers dependance on caffeine is symbolic of their dependence on their employer. The routine eases the worker into work life and is even a perk of going to the office, "at least I get to drink all the coffee I want".

WhenI started working. I never drank coffee or tea. As the 9 to 9 grinded on, I needed help. Everyone else was doing it. That was the days of tea bags and instant. Then when I got a "professional" job these guys "went out for coffee". No-one had instant anymore. And yes the barista espresso is fantastic and delicious and I was hooked and it was a status symbol. I am the successful office worker, I can afford to waste money. Look at me as I walk with my take-away office, I'm so important I cannot sit down and drink it. Sadly, I was heavily addicted for over twenty years sipping the warm brown nectar.

When do people normally start drinking coffee? When they start work. However, the culture is being pushed down sooner, even down to toddlers with their babycinos. High-school kids even have a coffee before going to school. Coffee is everywhere but yet so easily avoided unlike its predecessor smoking, second-hand coffee isn't too much of a problem.

The good news it that its ridiculously easy to break the adult milkshake addiction. You will only get a headache after a couple of days. The habit is the harder part. Start drinking the non-weaponised (decaf) and you will slowly find the whole routine ridiculous.

Stick it to the man, claim some freedom and quit coffee.

This article was updated on January 3, 2019